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” I responded, “Is there a problem?” “Damn, I must have forgotten to lock the front door,” she replied, sighing, “There’s a private party on tonight. Maybe you can help me out.” Normally I would have felt offended at someone suggesting that I perform unpaid work for their benefit, but something about her demeanor made me want to help. After all, I was only going to the cinema to kill time. I told her I’d be glad to offer my assistance, after which she served me a cold beer and gave me instructions on how I could help. We both went about setting the tables and laying out the fare for the one hundred expected guests that evening. We chatted while we worked, and by the time we were done half an hour later I had learned that she came from a posh family and was a student of graphic arts, had an uncle who made low-budget B-movies, a sister who lived permanently in a mental institution, and a lecherous cousin who had once tried kissing her at another family member’s wedding reception.. Allegedly, bullets from matchlock muskets, having a much heavier powder charge and more resultant striking force than any pistol, only had about a 50% estimated penetration rate, which overall gave me far poorer odds of nailing the bugger with my two smaller pistols, even at point blank range. Not that any single one shot, or even two would likely kill the powerful beast. The first shot, already at a range closer than I would have preferred, certainly didn’t penetrate. I don’t think the lead bullet even dented its scales! I’d fired from as close of a range as I could dare, with both Flerrie and Koch scampering to remain safely out of mauling range of the lizard. That left me with just one loaded pistol and one last single chance for survival. This shot had to count, and I resisted the urge to entirely empty my bladder into my leather traveling trousers as the creature shambled up to devour me now instead. My last shot must have annoyed it. It faced me eye to eye and opened its great.
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